Your apartment....is on fire!

Well readers, I promised you my own strange story, so here it is.
I live in a crappy apartment that is basically above a bar. Being a college town, it is always impossibly loud at night, and if by some act of God, the bars are quiet, my crappy neighbors throw ragers just to spite me. On this particular night, it had been hellishly loud outside. Once I finally got to sleep, I thought I had smooth sailing until morning.
Alas, my neighbors are idiot.
At about 3 in the morning, I awake to loud beeping. In my half-sleep state I look around my room- I look at my phone, at my alarm clock, at my computer- anything that could be making noise. Nothing in my room is making the heinous sound. Our fire alarm is often prone to be very sensitive to anything (I mean anything- you say the word eggs and the alarm goes off), so I thought maybe our alarm was going off. I run out to the living room to complete darkness and no alarm. I go back into my room and have an internal debate.
Should I go check on the neighbors? Could they possibly have an alarm going off and not hear it? Should I just wait it out?
Finally, the angel on my shoulder prompts me to throw on some pants and flip flops and run upstairs. Now we kind of knew the girls upstairs because we were currently inhabiting their old apartment (which they were not pleased about). The second I open the door to the hallways upstairs, it is silent and I can tell the alarm is not coming from that floor. I book it down two floors, to the apartment below mine.
Jackpot. My ears are practically bleeding from the piercing sound.
I pound and pound on the door. Nothing. I pound harder. Still nothing. I try to door knob. The idiots left it open- thank God in this case, as they may have gotten a little toasty in there.
I run into the living room/kitchen, immediately consumed with smoke as I enter. I cover my face with my old t-shirt and run directly to the stove. I check all 4 stove tops, they are all off. I look at the control panel...
The oven is on at 400 degrees.
I turn off the oven and open the oven door to plumes of smoke billowing out. After my hacking coughs subside and the smoke dies down a little, I see some unidentifiable lump of black AND A DISHTOWEL!!! I cannot believe the stupidity of these people.
At this exact moment the entire apartment complex's fire alarm begins to sound and a bumbling drunk girl tumbles out of her room in nothing but her underwear.
"Wh-what's goin on?" (her)
"YOUR APARTMENT...IS ON FIRE!!" (me)
She scurries back into her room.
I run upstairs to my apartment to evacuate my roommates, one of which is sleeping at her boyfriends house.
Within twenty minutes everyone is outside watching the apartment complex not burning down. Naked idiot girl is no where to be found.
Being the weekend, no one was working that could come turn off the alarm, so we had to wait for the apartment maintenance crew to show up. After about 40 minutes, we realized that the fire department was not coming- we were all under the impression that they were alerted immediately when the complex fire alam went off...no no no, we had to call them ourselves (thanks Cornwell...rip us off AND kill us). About ten minutes later the fire department shows up. They want to talk to me to hear all the details of the story. They tell me that all the girls from the apartment had ran away, not wanting to take the blame- but one of them had left her naked boyfriend passed out in her bed to be consumed by smoke...so romantic.
About an hour later, we all finally make out way back to our beds. The next morning as I recount my story to everyone, our roommate-the one who we thought was sleeping at her boyfriends- stumbles out of her room, having slept through the whole thing.
Now what did we learn from this encounter?
1. Do not be an idiot.
2. Do not cook when you are drunk.
3. Do not cook dish towels.
4. Check to make sure your roommates are where they are supposed to be.
5. Call the fire department- they will not come rescue you on their own.
6. Wake up your naked boyfriend when your apartment is on fire.
7. People are strange.

Until next time...keep bein strange